Install Java (open java works)
 sudo apt-get install openjdk-8-jdk

If you forgot to get MySQL and Apache and stuff, you may also want to 
grab the LAMP stack:
 sudo apt-get install lamp-server^
  don't forget the caret on the end of that command

Download ofbiz, and I'm assuming it went into your downloads folder
sudo -i 
  -you'll just be essentially root from here on

mv /home/userdownloadingofbiz/Downloads/apache-ofbiz-x.x.x.zip /
  -change x.x.x with correct version number
mv /apache-ofbiz-x.x.x.zip /ofbiz
useradd -m ofbiz
chown -R ofbiz:ofbiz /ofbiz

#-----------------------------------------------------------------------
# MySQL -- Create DBs, grant everything to ofbiz user, and make OFBiz
# use it
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------

create database ofbiz;
create database ofbizolap;
create database ofbiztenant;

grant all on ofbiz.* to 'ofbiz'@localhost identified by 'g1t3rdun';
grant all on ofbizolap.* to 'ofbiz'@localhost identified by 'g1t3rdun';
grant all on ofbiztenant.* to 'ofbiz'@localhost identified by 'g1t3rdun';

Change D to M in build.gradle (line 401-ish -- we're going to stop using
derby and start using MySQL)
 Forgot that this time around (4-15-17), and I appear to be using MySQL
 anyway. But just in case, I changed it afterward to M.


Copied mysql-connector-java-5.1.41-bin.jar to /ofbiz/framework/entity, 
after I grabbed it from the MySQL site. This version number will change
over time

Added:

runtime 'mysql:mysql-connector-java:5.1.41'

to build.gradle (line 149 in dependencies section)
 #----------------------------------------------------------------------
 #       MAKE SURE colon is between java and the version            
 #   A dash doesn't work, even though the filename has the dash...
 #----------------------------------------------------------------------

Edit /ofbiz/framework/entity/config/entityengine.xml
 Three groups of three lines refer to derby -- change them to mysql:

  <delegator name="default" entity-model-reader="main"...
   <group-map group-name="org.apache.ofbiz" datasource-name="localmysql"/>
   <group-map group-name="org.apache.ofbiz.olap" datasource-name="localmysqlolap"/>
   <group-map group-name="org.apache.ofbiz.tenant" datasource-name="localmysqltenant"/>
  </delegator>
 
 These used to say localderby, localderbyolap, and localderbytenant
 Remember, there's three groups of these
 
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------
# This will get OFBiz running manually
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------
su - ofbiz
cd /ofbiz
./gradlew cleanAll loadDefault
./gradlew ofbiz

gradlew stands for gradle wrapper; if that's ever on Jeopardy, don't forget

#-----------------------------------------------------------------------
# This will run it as a daemon:
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------
cp /ofbiz/tools/rc.ofbiz.for.debian /etc/init.d/ofbiz
edit so that any gradlew command is preceeded by /ofbiz 
 (as in /ofbiz/gradlew ofbiz -- there's maybe a couple three spots)
  -maybe if I added /ofbiz to the ofbiz user's path, I could do without this...
    -I tried that. /ofbiz is now in ofbiz's path, and I can run gradlew, but 
     getting errors that there's no cleanAll or loadDefault. same command worked
     fine when I first cd-ed to /ofbiz
     -so screw it, just precede gradlew commands with /ofbiz/
chown ofbiz:ofbiz /etc/init.d/ofbiz
chmod u+x /etc/init.d/ofbiz

  -There appears to be an error in that file. Line 77
     echo_success 
   ought to be: 
     echo success
   Space instead of underscore. 

su - ofbiz
/etc/init.d/ofbiz start

If that works, then create a file called /etc/init.d/start_ofbiz that says:
 
  #!/bin/bash
  sudo -u ofbiz /etc/init.d/ofbiz start

and then get it to start at boot with:
sudo update-rc.d start_ofbiz defaults