Install Java (open java works)
 sudo apt-get install openjdk-8-jdk

If you forgot to get MySQL and Apache and stuff, you may also want to 
grab the LAMP stack:
 sudo apt-get install lamp-server^
  don't forget the caret on the end of that command

Download ofbiz, and I'm assuming it went into your downloads folder
sudo -i 
  -you'll just be essentially root from here on

mv /home/userdownloadingofbiz/Downloads/apache-ofbiz-x.x.x.zip /
  -change x.x.x with correct version number
mv /apache-ofbiz-x.x.x.zip /ofbiz
useradd -m ofbiz
chown -R ofbiz:ofbiz /ofbiz

#-----------------------------------------------------------------------
# MySQL -- Create DBs, grant everything to ofbiz user, and make OFBiz
# use it
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------

create database ofbiz;
create database ofbizolap;
create database ofbiztenant;

grant all on ofbiz.* to 'ofbiz'@localhost identified by 'g1t3rdun';
grant all on ofbizolap.* to 'ofbiz'@localhost identified by 'g1t3rdun';
grant all on ofbiztenant.* to 'ofbiz'@localhost identified by 'g1t3rdun';

Copied mysql-connector-java-5.1.41-bin.jar to /ofbiz/framework/entity, 
after I grabbed it from the MySQL site. This version number will change
over time

Added:

runtime 'mysql:mysql-connector-java:5.1.41'

to build.gradle (line 149 in dependencies section)
 #----------------------------------------------------------------------
 #       MAKE SURE colon is between java and the version            
 #   A dash doesn't work, even though the filename has the dash...
 #----------------------------------------------------------------------

Edit /ofbiz/framework/entity/config/entityengine.xml
 Three groups of three lines refer to derby -- change them to mysql:

  <delegator name="default" entity-model-reader="main"...
   <group-map group-name="org.apache.ofbiz" datasource-name="localmysql"/>
   <group-map group-name="org.apache.ofbiz.olap" datasource-name="localmysqlolap"/>
   <group-map group-name="org.apache.ofbiz.tenant" datasource-name="localmysqltenant"/>
  </delegator>
 
 These used to say localderby, localderbyolap, and localderbytenant
 Remember, there's three groups of these
 
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------
#                      DOH! Don't forget this!
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------
 Also, down in the vicinity of line 348, make sure to stick a username and 
 pass for the mysql user and pass (ofbiz and g1t3rdun in this case) you'll
 need for hooking into the db.
 
 And if it wasn't bad enough forgetting to fix that, 348 only fixes the ofbiz
 database connections. Still have to fix the ofbizoplap and ofbiztenant 
 connection authentication down at lines 381 and 414. Double DOH!!!
 
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------
# To get the ball rolling...
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------
su - ofbiz
cd /ofbiz

#-----------------------------------------------------------------------
# Run OFBiz with a bunch of practice data
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------
./gradlew cleanAll loadDefault

#-----------------------------------------------------------------------
# To run OFBiz with a brand spanking new database -- NO data except a user
# named admin with a pass of ofbiz
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------
./gradlew "ofbiz ‐‐load-data readers=seed,seed-initial" loadAdminUserLogin -PuserLoginId=admin

#-----------------------------------------------------------------------
# And then actually starting OFBiz up manually
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------
./gradlew ofbiz

gradlew stands for gradle wrapper; if that's ever on Jeopardy, don't forget

#-----------------------------------------------------------------------
# This will run it as a daemon:
#-----------------------------------------------------------------------
cp /ofbiz/tools/rc.ofbiz.for.debian /etc/init.d/ofbiz
edit so that any gradlew command is preceeded by /ofbiz 
 (as in /ofbiz/gradlew ofbiz -- there's maybe a couple three spots)
  -maybe if I added /ofbiz to the ofbiz user's path, I could do without this...
    -I tried that. /ofbiz is now in ofbiz's path, and I can run gradlew, but 
     getting errors that there's no cleanAll or loadDefault. same command worked
     fine when I first cd-ed to /ofbiz
     -so screw it, just precede gradlew commands with /ofbiz/
chown ofbiz:ofbiz /etc/init.d/ofbiz
chmod u+x /etc/init.d/ofbiz

  -There appears to be an error in that file. Line 77
     echo_success 
   ought to be: 
     echo success
   Space instead of underscore. 

su - ofbiz
/etc/init.d/ofbiz start

If that works, then create a file called /etc/init.d/ofbiz_start that says:
 
  #!/bin/bash
  sudo -u ofbiz /etc/init.d/ofbiz start

and then get it to start at boot with:
sudo update-rc.d ofbiz_start defaults